Funny Poems, Short Stories and Animation
A long time ago when the world was still hot, like a cake freshly baked out of the oven, some elephants roamed the Earth looking for a place to sleep. Some roamed near and some roamed far and the ones that roamed far roamed very, very far. This was because the Earth had not yet been cut up into slices and there were no continents, just one big cake of land.
One elephant in particular made it a quarter of the way around the world before he found a place to sleep. When he woke up however the land had been sliced and moved far apart and he found he was halfway around the world in a place that they call England. This didn't happen overnight though, and how long it took him to wake up and what happened when he did is what this story is really about.
After walking so far and settling down for a nap in a warm and shady spot near the top of a volcano the Elephant fell asleep. Now this was a long time ago when there were still volcanoes in England and there was a lot more sun than there was rain. The Elephant was so tired after walking thousands of miles he slept for a very long, very warm time. Above him the sun was so hot that it dried him out completely making the big grey animal look like a very wrinkly lump of rock. He became so dried out that only a million and one days of rain could bring him back to life.
During this time (which was very long indeed because it didn't rain all the time, even when it started raining a lot) the volcanoes died, grass grew on their sides and the old lava turned into rocks, which looked very much like the Elephant. The hills the grass grew on were as green as an emerald's snot which was helped by the plentiful rainfall on the area that now was called the Moors, a place which is very popular with people who like to picnic.
So just imagine the look on one picnicker’s face when on the million and oneth day, the rock he was sat eating his lunch on rumbled, stood up, and then blew a very weak trumpet on his trunk which was still quite dry. Not much sound came out but a lot of dust and a few spiders who had climbed up there.
The picnicker, whose name was Percy, wondered what on earth could be going on. The rock beneath him began to quake, his jar of pickles began to rattle, his flask of tea began to shake and his hard boiled eggs rolled off onto the ground below. It wasn't only the poor Percy who was feeling a bit confused but the bunny who lived in the warren near by, the bird who had built its nest in the elephant's bum and the pony who had never seen anything bigger than itself with four legs before as well.
Pretty soon anybody nearby had come over to have a look at the curious sight. As the rain continued to fall the elephant became more lively and started to move faster across the green moorland. However he was as confused as everybody else and did not know where to go. He knew he was quite hungry though and before he moved any further he helped himself to the pickles, eggs and tea that had recently fallen off his back.
When he'd finished his snack the elephant realised that he hadn't had anything to eat in a long time. He also realised that a few pickles and eggs weren't going to make him feel any less hungry. So he set off in search of food. After he'd pilfered the picnic baskets of the stunned people around him he headed to a nearby village. When he'd cleared out the village's cake shop there was still a lot of space in his stomach so he headed off again, this time to a nearby town. There was much more food in the town, especially the supermarket.
After eating most of aisle eight (that's the aisle where they kept the peanuts) he moved on to the fruit and vegetable section. When he'd finished the last lettuce there was still room in his stomach for more, a lot more. Three supermarkets, a baker's and one market stall later he was finally full and felt ready for an after-dinner nap. By this time quite a crowd had gathered including news reporters, people who couldn't afford to go to the zoo and some important looking men who were trying to decide what to do with him.
They watched with great interest as he walked back the way he came, leaving a trail of destruction behind him, to the place where he first settled down for a nap. And my did he nap. Apart from the fact he didn't look so wrinkly this time, and had a much larger stomach, he was as still and quiet as he was before and showed no signs of waking up. Eventually people forgot he was ever an elephant at all and began climbing him as if he was one of the other rocks. After a while Percy came back to have another picnic and this time he didn't lose his lunch. In fact the only thing different was that occasionally there would be a slight trumpeting sound, which people often blamed on their dogs, because that's how elephants snore.
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