Short Poems, Long Poems & Limericks

A Glass Half Full of Stuff to Read

Dr Garbagestein


A long time ago in days of yore

In a place that probably exists no more

There was a thing that would have impressed for sure:

Garbage men went from door to door

And swept your sticky stuff off the floor

 

Now there was one worker of the bins

Who did that and this and other things

But the other things weren’t good or right

And with his garbage he’d disappear at night

To do things of considerable fright

 

Because his mind was of the evil kind,

And they called him -

 

Dr. Garbagestein

 

Dr. Garbagestein a scientist was he

(Or at least he used to be)

But in his title there is much fakery

Because he cheated at his degree

And this caused him much mockery


You see the only thing he ever achieved

Was bringing back to life a mouse for which he grieved

But if you had been there you wouldn’t have believed

Because he just pulled a new one out of his sleeve


However his degree was not in vain

There was some knowledge that he did gain

And in secret he made monsters

From the slime inside his drains

And he was about to do it once again

Even if it caused him pains


But the garbage smell must have affected his brain

And he began to make a monster

Of which I will explain


The monster he was made from the stinkiest garbage bits

And he could melt a person with the stench form his armpits

But the description is for later, first you need the gist

So I shall name the components here in a stinky garbage list;


First there came the banana peels

Followed by some jellied eels

(All rotten of course you could tell by the feel)

Mixed with some sweaty socks

Not to mention cuckoo clocks

And brooms with bristles no longer there

A few bags full of barbershop hair

An umbrella with holes past repair

The doctor's underpants would also make the mix

(Just to see them would make you sick)

And then there was the final trick

A few computers to make him slick

 

So there it is, the things that made the monster grim

His master hoped he would obey him

But now of more important things to tell

How when finished he did look and my how he did smell!


His appearance was horrific in a weird kind of way

Like when you find those Brussels sprouts

You thought you threw away

A walking garbage can he was

Leaking stinking garbage spray

The town’s people didn’t know whether to scream or spew,

But here is what they’d say;


“A monster with an umbrella nose, that lets rain in too far

Not to mention the record deck eyes, it’s really quite bizarre”


“Yes and look at his patchy hair; ginger, blond and brown

Ha! See that silly banana skin, he wears it like a crown”


“His arms they are so skinny

Made from beat-up, broken brooms

He’s not even any good

For sweeping up our rooms”

 

“Yes I concur, it's laughable, he really is quite dumb

He’s even got a cuckoo clock sticking out his bum”

 

And so the floors where saved from

The rain that they call puking

But instead, although it hurt his feelings

Everyone was joking

 

Streaming tears of stink he ran away to stay

In an old junkyard that he found upon his way

Where he could hide and make up his mind

How he would revenge Dr. Garbagestein


 

During this time Dr. Garbagestein was weeping

“Where’s my monster, my floor needs sweeping”

For a long time he sat on his mucky floor

When there came a knocking at the door

A message for the doctor, just a line:


Be at the junkyard for ten to nine.


Mysterious this is he thought

Could this be the monster that I have sought?


The doctor went at the chosen hour

When from the darkness there came a glower

And a stink, and a whirring, and a little cuckoo

And a “doctor I have been looking for you”


With his bare brush hands he lifted the doctor

And every sound was hushed

Because with the aid of some rusty contraption

The poor old doctor was crushed

 

The monster was triumphant, the doctor defeated

To his old house the creation retreated

And whe he got there he found he was in luck

Because the doctor's old house

Was completely filled with muck

 

And so a conclusion can be drawn,

As the monster set the doctor

Like a stone upon his lawn,

That he had been out of line

And this is how he got the name -

 

Dr. Garbagestein.


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